Back In The Saddle Again
by Lady Dudley
Summary: Eric finally takes Pam horse riding, with some unforeseen results.
1. The Ride

**A/N: This is a companion piece of sorts to 'Come Ride With Me' and is partially inspired by the songs referenced. There's also a fleeting reference to Chapter 2 of my story 'Terms of Endearment,' but you don't need any 'backstory' to understand this :) The title comes from the song of the same name and i****t was meant to be much more light-hearted than it turned out to be...**Anyways, hope that you enjoy it :)  


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
**

**_Back In The Saddle Again_  
**

…  
_I will ride, I will fly  
Chase the wind  
And touch the sky_  
-'Touch The Sky,' Julie Fowlis  
…

At first everything had been so different: instead of a riding habit, she wore jodhpurs and instead of riding side-saddle, she rode astride.

But then she had found her rhythm and she had realised just how much she had missed horse riding.

She had had a privileged, but unhappy childhood and ever since she got her first fat little pony, riding had been her escape.

She could remember riding for hours, sometimes racing with her beloved older brother, but most often by herself: galloping off into the unknown.

Those stolen moments on her much-loved mare, Guinevere, were some of the happiest of her life and the only time she felt truly free and alive.

Then Albert had left for university and her parents, fearful of her recklessness, sold Guinevere.

She never forgave them.

Now, as she was once again on horseback and galloping across the landscape, all of that pain along with a sense of freedom and escape came back.

Only this time she wouldn't have to go back, this time she truly was free.

Galloping behind her, but on a slower steed, Eric sensed the change in his child and felt a twinge of unease.

He had given in to Pam's wheedling and agreed to go horse riding, he had even bought her a horse of her own, but ever since she stepped into the stables something had changed.

She wasn't his Pamela; she had retreated somewhere that he couldn't reach her.

He had hoped that her strange silence would dissolve once they were out on the horses, but she'd broken into a gallop almost the moment they'd set off and he'd been doing his best to keep up ever since.

"I think we should start back," Eric called out, concerned by the change in her.

"Just a bit further," she called back, bending low over her horse's neck and urging it on.

"Pam!" he yelled, making her name sound like a command, but she ignored him and urged her horse even faster.

Eric had had enough, dawn was approaching and if she kept going she'd end up killing herself.

Eric's sudden appearance in front of her horse caught both it and Pam off guard, resulting in her toppling off as it reared in fright.

"What did you do that for?" she demanded, sitting up and spitting out dirt.

"We have to find some place to go to ground," he told her evenly.

Pam looked up at him with wild eyes and for a brief moment he thought she was going to attack him.

"Pam?" he asked, holding his hands up in a placating gesture, "Is everything all right?"

He watched as she looked around her, losing her wild edge, "Everything's fine," she assured him.

Eric continued to eye her warily, "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, attempting to make her tone light.

"Because I'm not sure what just happened," he told her, taking a step towards her.

She gave a small shrug, avoiding his eyes, "Nothing happened."

"Pam…" he began in a warning tone, but she cut him off.

"Eric, just drop it, ok?" she snapped.

Eric pursed his lips slightly as he looked down at her, he remembered the last time she'd been so defensive and decided to drop the subject.

She would tell him in her own time, she always did.

"Enjoy your ride?" he asked after a long moment, holding out his hand to help her to her feet.

"I did," she replied, taking his proffered hand, "until some idiot jumped out in front of me," she added.

"I was concerned you couldn't stop your horse," he told her as they took hold of their horse's reins and headed back to the stables.

Pam raised an eyebrow, "Admit it, you just don't like to lose," she teased.

Eric looked at her seriously for a moment, "All right," he conceded, "I admit, there are some things that I _never_ want to lose."

"Like what?" she teased, coming over to take his arm.

Eric raised both eyebrows and looked down at her, "Oh," she said quietly.

Eric smirked, "Oh," he mimicked, kissing her forehead, "you silly girl," he murmured.

Pam rolled her eyes, but made no comment as they continued to walk arm-in-arm back to the stables.

…  
_And if the situation  
Should keep us separated  
You know the world won't fall apart  
And you will free the beautiful bird  
That's caught inside your heart  
Can't you hear her?  
Oh she cries so loud  
Casts her wild note  
Over water and cloud  
That's the way it's gonna be, little darlin'  
We'll be riding on the horses, yeah  
Way up in the sky, little darlin'  
And if you fall I'll pick you up, pick you up_  
-'The Horses,' Daryl Braithwaite  
…

**A/N: I may continue this to include their conversation about what happened, if people want, but it seemed to stop there for me. I just can't see Eric pushing Pam, he'd know that she'd tell him in her own time.****  
**


	2. Explanations

**A/N: I was inspired and decided to write a little bit more. This is also a little bit heavy, but I tried to lighten the tone towards the end ;) The 'I didn't ask' line comes from _Castle_, but I can't remember which episode.**

The next evening, Eric and Pam were in Eric's office, double checking the accounts in companionable silence.

"Riding was my escape route," Pam said abruptly, without looking up, "it was the only place I was free."

"I didn't ask," Eric said quietly after a moment, also not looking up.

Pam's lips twitched, "I know, you were not asking very loudly."

"In that case, I won't ask what you were escaping from," Eric replied smoothly, stacking the money he had been counting and making a note in the book beside him.

"My parents mostly," Pam replied absently, counting a pile of notes at vampire speed, "and life in general." She glanced up, "$1000," she said, placing the pile with the others.

"My parents tried everything they could to make me into the perfect lady," she continued, sitting back in her chair and studying her hands, "although even my mother drew the line at the beatings and locking away that one of our nannies resorted to."

Eric's hand flexed instinctively at the thought that someone had hurt his Pam; the scars on her back were something else they had never spoken of, but they angered him nonetheless.

That they had been inflicted on her while she was a defenceless child just made him angrier.

"Bertie was my hero in those days," she added with a small, wistful smile, "he was the one who first took me out riding. He spent weeks teaching me to ride and then he took me out on the moors." Her smile broadened at the memory, "It was glorious."

Eric watched her closely in silence, as the smile faded and he sensed a corresponding change in her emotions.

"But we always had to come home," she said simply, her tone belying the tumult of emotions Eric could sense through their bond.

"They sold my horse after my brother left for university and that was the beginning of the end," she continued after a long moment. "I left home and tried to find Bertie, but I never did," she paused, "and the rest you know."

Eric did know the rest and he silently thanked fate or whatever it had been that had led him to Pam.

The night he changed her, he had done so partly to save her from a lonely and tragic future. Although she'd subsequently shared parts of her more recent history, he'd had no idea how deep the pain he sensed in her had run.

He would never understand why people had been so threatened by the passion and the intelligence of his child. It was something that he cherished.

She took a shaky breath that she didn't need before looking up at him, "Then yesterday, I was that girl again, trying to escape, desperate to be free," she added, discreetly wiped away a tear, "and this time I didn't have to go back."

Eric carefully set the money aside and reached across the table to take her hand in both of his, "You are _my_ child, not theirs," he told her seriously, looking deep into her eyes, "and you never have to be that girl again." He paused, "I will not make you stay."

Pam looked down at their entwined hands; she belonged to Eric in a more real sense than she ever had to her parents, but he had never once made her feel trapped. She knew he was serious when he told her that he would never force her to stay, but she could also sense how much it would cost him to let her go.

If she still had a heart, it would have been warmed by the thought that he would be willing to sacrifice his happiness for her own.

She placed her free hand on top of his and looked up at him with a sly smile, "I think, Mr. Northman, that you'll have to try much harder than that to get rid of me."

She sensed Eric's relief as he gave her hand a small squeeze before releasing it. Sitting back in his chair, he smirked back at her, "So it would seem," he agreed with a mock sigh.

"Perhaps it's your advanced age," she teased.

Eric raised an eyebrow, "I will have you know that, unlike humans, vampires actually improve with age."

"Is that so?"

Eric attempted to look modest, "I have never had any complaints."

Pam smirked, "They must have very low standards."

Even though she was half-expecting it, Pam still felt a little jolt of surprise as she suddenly found herself crushed against him.

"It would appear I have been remiss in teaching you about this aspect of our nature," he said in a low tone.

Pam gave an involuntary shiver at the dangerous glint in Eric's eye, "True," she agreed, trying to ignore the effect his proximity was having on her. "But I wouldn't want you to overexert yourself," she told him, stepping out of his embrace and backing up towards the door.

Eric gave a low growl as he shadowed her steps, "So I think I'll just go to ground," Pam continued with a wicked grin, before disappearing at vampire speed.

She didn't even reach the door before Eric caught up with her.


End file.
